Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it was like eating out sand paper
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
