Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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