He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Randomize
