I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have aggressive nipples.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
