I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
