Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
