Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
