just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
