At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
