I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
