Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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