If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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