he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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