Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
