if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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