well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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