didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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