So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
