I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
