your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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