It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
