Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
