I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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