i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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