I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
