You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
