Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I smell stomach acid.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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