i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
