paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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