You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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