no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
