like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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