I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just googled if crying burns calories
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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