1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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