Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
