I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You're like the curious george of whores
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
