you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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