That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Enjoy the penises
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
