Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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