i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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