it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
