Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
