The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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