Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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