Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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