don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
