I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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