I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
