i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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