i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
