ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
